Feeling Good, Looking Better

I was watching a television show recently which was tackling the difficult issue of body image. While their conclusions were the morally commendable ideals of 'being oneself is the best thing, don't succumb to popular images' this doesn't reflect the science. In fact, numerous psychology experiments on beauty has shown us otherwise - particularly in the case of female beauty. There IS a universal, world-wide standard for what is considered beautiful in women (and a broader, but no less enumerated, set for men) - (if you don't believe me, look at my post on January 31st for an elaboration on this point and a link to one of the many places you'll find reputable evidence).

Of course the data may be confounded, due to the fact that we (Americans) are bombarded with images of attractive women daily; women who, despite looking good already, are airbrushed to a perfection that is, quite frankly, insanely un-obtainable. But not everyone who participated in the cross-cultural psychology studies had been exposed to western culture, mass media, or ideals of beauty. And while fads may vary, and moderate differences arise between cultures (there is one memorable ethnic group with a strong liking for incredibly long necks, for example) the answer IS out there: baby features, combined with some trade-mark adult features (high cheek bones, narrow waist-regardless of actual dress size) make a woman both sexy and beautiful. If you are interested in this topic- and also enjoy being scared sh*tless and don't mind hiding your head under the covers with the lights on for a week - I would recommend one of my favorite books, "Survival of the Prettiest," by Nancy Etcoff, a brilliant researcher at Harvard Medical School who uses fMRI to uncover, among other things, the nature of attraction and beauty. There's only so much the data can tell us, but gazing directly into the brain normally doesn't lie. And the news isn't good, even for those few people who can qualify as nearly-perfect.

It is of course important to love yourself and to embrace yourself for who you are. That is one of the very first tenants of Diva-hood, and if you were to take all of the Divas on television and in real life and then distill them down to their very essences I believe that is one of the strongest things you would find. It is impossible to exude the confidence that a true diva channels if you aren't content with yourself to the core.

This doesn't mean that not looking perfect - or that looking TO perfect - isn't going to come back around to bite you. There's a reason why, whenever a recession occurs, the make-up industry is the last luxury goods market hit and one of the first to bounce back, as women (and some men) continue to buy those products until the very end. It just means that confidence can come from places other than looks.

So, sadly, beauty is NOT in the eye of the beholder. The key, however, is to be informed, make it work to the best of your advantage, and to 'be strong and carry on.'