When You're Cute - Everything's Tiny?

Have you ever noticed that essentially anything miniature is considered 'cute'? Mice are suddenly cute when they make tiny, high-pitched, soft yawns and sneezes in cartoons; in real life, smaller mice are considered less scary and much cuter than the larger rat. This perception only really holds with regard to the expected size of the target; a spider that's the size of a thumb nail is HUGE; one the size of a dot on a page is 'cute' (barring strong arachnophobia). Like so many other things, cuteness is relative when it comes to size invoking the cute reaction. However, what we actually find cute isn't a cultural thing; it's an innate thing. Combined with our natural human tendency to find meaning in anything, it is not surprising that we find 'cute' not just in our offspring, but everywhere.

Cuteness can be found in adults as well as in children. There is strong evidence suggesting that female attractiveness is more or less judged by the same set of 'rules' regardless of culture or background. For the moment, we're going to focus on women because a) based on current research women are just easier to generalize about and b) because not many men are actually 'cute' in the biological sense. The word has simply been misappropriated to mean attractive when used in the male sense, and while this is debatable, after the age of 10 very few boys qualify as being 'cute' by psychological metrics. If they are, then chances are they look very feminine and attempt to mask it any way they can.

When you're cute not everything is tiny - what I mean by this is that you look child-like. As it is biologically adaptive for us to hang around to raise our children, nature gave us our reaction to 'cute' so that we would actually want to stick around. It is not just our culture which is obsessed with youth in women regarding attractiveness; most attractive women actually exhibit child-like physical features, such as large eyes, small noses, smallish, full mouths - even small size. This causes the same knee-jerk reaction we have to cute kids to occur with cute women: you want to protect them. This is often why your average super-model isn't cute (after all, she's huge) while your average petite woman - regardless of actual physical attractiveness - is considered cute. The tinier you physically are, the more likely you are to look cute because people simply can't get over how tiny you are.

So regardless if you're at the top of the height chain or the bottom of the height chain, some baby-ish characteristics make you more attractive, but at the top end you're a 'sexy' model; at the bottom end of the height spectrum you're a pixie. It's the women in between that you've got to watch out for.

When You're a Diva, You've Got to Turn the Volume UP!!!!

According to the Urban Dictionary, the number one definition of Diva is: "Female version of a hustler." Since I find that definition slightly unsatisfactory,  I am going to offer one of my own: 'A Diva is a person (usually of the feminine persuasion) who turns the emotional volume up, in either direction, good or bad, in order to bask in said personal emotion and to make sure everyone in near proximity knows about it.' This may not be the only facet involved in being a Diva, but it is one of the most noticeable ones, and thus we will treat it first.

So then, given that definition, there is a fine, fine line between a 'Diva' and a 'Drama Queen.' What makes the difference? A drama queen blows anything upsetting out of proportion. A true diva, on the other hand, embraces theatrics into her (or occasionally his) self-image, causing everything, regardless of valence (positive or negative) to be worthy of extensive effort, energy, and repetition.  When you're a Diva, diva is always spelled with a capital D. The day is Ecssssssstatic, or it completely Suuuuuucccccks. There's very rarely a 'meh;' or if there is, no one ever hears about it. When you're a drama queen, your days have the right to only be 'ok.' But if you get a paper cut, well, then that's Ragnarok and everybody for a several mile radius better duck for cover (although, to be fair, paper cuts really can hurt).

Thus, it would be reasonable to conclude that a Diva, in the common sense, is a person who likes to live life on the emotional edge. This involves heightening the intensity of every moment. One of the easiest ways to tell a Diva is by looking at the volume control in her or his car. Is the music blasting so loudly that people several cars over can hear it, even with all the respected windows closed? Then they're probably a Diva, baby!*



*Audiophiles and people with varying degrees of deafness are not necessarily Divas. Thus, they are the most common exceptions to this heuristic.

The Road to Being a Diva - And to Understanding What it Means To Be 'Cute'

WARNING: This is a Forward. I am attempting to explain myself and why I'm blogging about this. You are welcome to ignore it to get directly to the good stuff. 

There is power, there is cachet, there is a type of glory that comes with being a Diva. I wouldn't know. I am not a Diva. But I'm learning.

I am a Ph.D. student with certain frustrations. Mostly, not being able to share what I know. And I know what it means to be cute, and what it means to be a Diva, and what I mean when I say they are, moment to moment, mutually exclusive (don't worry, I'll share that thought. Eventually).

My goal here is to mix a guide book on how to be a Diva, a survival guide for how to be 'cute' in a grown-up world (once I figure that out - I will, however, explain what it scientifically means for children, and why it's adaptive, and also why it's such a mixed blessing for adults). I will try my best to explain the Diva craze. You may not find anything brilliant or enlightening here - then again, you may. If I can help you achieve some sort of clarity on something which irritates people everyday, then the reason for this blog will be fulfilled. After all, my brand of research studies extravagance, attraction, and spending. It would be a travesty to keep it from you.

So off we go down the road of being fabulous - any way we look at it. I hope you enjoy the journey.